Day 29 - It's for the birds

Day 29 - This morning as I went through my normal routine of getting ready for work, fixing Todd's lunch and then feeding the birds I decided to get the camera out.  This little guy was one of the lest skiddish ones of the bunch.  Is this the most beautiful bird at my feeders?  No, but today this feathered friend caught my eye.  For the record cardinals are my favorite birds.  I have a few pairs of cardinals that are starting to reappear at my feeders.  They are so pretty, especially when their backdrop is white snow.

I feed the birds because I really enjoy seeing how many and how many different types of birds I can draw to my feeder.  I try to figure out what type each of the birds are and learn just a little about them.  I don't take a lot of time to study about them because then my bird watching would become less fun for me, but I do like to know a little.  I think my love of birds comes from my mom and my grandma Francie.  They both had feeders and bird baths when I was growing up and they enjoyed the beauty the birds added to life.  I am lucky enough to now own the bird bath that my grandma had in her front yard and I really love it.

The bird above is in the Passeridae family - it is commonly called a sparrow.  There are a lot of different birds in the sparrow family, but I won't get into all those details.  I guess what I appreciate about this species is that it is dependable.  Even when no other bird is going to show at my feeder it will be there.  It seems a little more trusting than other birds, it is usually the last one to fly off when I go outside or move too quickly on the other side of the window.  I could look at it as the reason for this is because this bird is greedy, it is going to eat up every little morsel of food before it flies away, or what I would rather think is that it is more comfortable with my existence than the other birds.  Although the cardinals and the blue jays are much prettier to look at, they aren't around as much as these birds.

I think sometimes in life we tend to take those that we see every day and those that aren't new and exciting or as pretty as others for granted.  The dependable ones in our lives are there and we know they will be there, but we don't really think about what they bring to the table until they are one day gone.  For a short time I had bird food out and no birds were coming to my feeders.  I later figured out that a neighbor's cat was either plucking them off or at least his presence was scaring them away.  But before they all left I had kind of forgot to notice them even being there.  I fed them when the feeder was low, but really didn't take the time to notice if they were there or not.  Now that they are back I truly appreciate the fact that they add something to my life.

Family and friends are a lot like the sparrows.  It is easy to get wrapped up in a new person that comes along, maybe they live a little more exciting life or have something about them that seems more interesting than the faithful friends  and family you have.  It is great to enjoy those new "birds" in your life, but always take time to notice and appreciate the "sparrows" that are always there for you as well.

I am trying to be better about noticing the beauty in every part of my life, be it the sparrow above with its pretty markings and its movements or my hard working husband that has been through so much with me and still is there.  I look at him when he is asleep next to me and count my blessings that he is willing to deal with all my quirks, he works hard and is a good honest man.  Some days it becomes easy to only find flaws in the sparrows in our lives when in all actuality they are the things we should be most grateful for.

Feed your birds, and if possible, make today a day that you look back on and smile.

Day 28 - When the Wind Blows

Day 28 - It is winter in Illinois.  I will go on record that although I live where Winter is inevitable, I am not a big fan of it.  If I could afford to pack up all my things and all those I love and move us all together to a warmer climate I would be looking for boxes to pack things in and not writing this blog today.  I am in Illinois because I was planted here.  I do try to bloom where I am planted, but this winter Mother Nature and I are having some issues.  

Growing up I was raised in an outdoors, hunting, fishing, snowmobiling, sledding and anything outside kind of family.  I was the black sheep of that family.  After a few minutes of the snow I was ready to head inside and watch it from the window with a warm cup of hot cocoa in my hands.  If I would have been planted in Colorado or Utah, I would have been the one that would have met you all back at the lodge.  I would have been happy to hold you a place by the fire, but I can imagine one trip down the slopes would have been more than adequate to satisfy my snow hunger.  

Is a white Christmas nice, well sure it is.  If the snow falls the night before and the roads are all clear for everyone to reach their desired destination.  Anything more than that is unnecessary in my books.  I kind of envy those that love snow and winter.  They are the ones out frolicking in it, building snowmen, sledding with friends and loving every moment of it.  Hell my brother and nephew like to go ice fishing..... now I do like to catch a fish occasionally, but to go to the effort of drilling a hole on a frozen lake to freeze my behind off while hoping to pull a fish from that hole is not on the top of my bucket list at all.  Now I think it is great they enjoy it.  I really enjoy seeing pictures that they would happen to take of their efforts, but the odds of me choosing to join them.... slim to none.  

I took the picture of my house after a recent covering of cold white crap (snow to those of you that enjoy this kind of thing) because when I walked out my front door on this particular morning the two wind chimes I have hanging were reminding me of my Mom and Dad.  I received wind chimes in their memories and have them hanging on the same Shepard's pole in front of my house.  I love when the wind blows to make the sweet sounds that resonate from them.  Every morning as I pass the two wind chimes if the wind isn't making them move I help them along and say "Good Morning Mom, Good Morning Dad".  Some probably consider this morning ritual a sign that my family should be looking for the home to put me in, but for some reason the sweet sound of those two wind chimes help me feel connected to those two important people who I miss so much.

If you love the winter, and you live near me, I feel you have had your share of what you love, isn't it time to say goodbye to the winter and bring on the spring.  I know I often talk about how we shouldn't wish our lives away, but if I could skip on past the last couple of weeks of winter and get to one of my two favorite seasons I promise I would allow time to slow way down.  

One of Todd's cousins, thanks Angie Borrelli, posted on Facebook recently "Yes we can all be negative and grumpy, it's human nature!! But my thought today is......If we didn't feel the cold against our faces, would we know to appreciate the warm sunshine when it kisses our faces? If our toes weren't cold from time to time, would we recognize and smile and notice how wonderful it feels to dip them in the ocean and run barefoot across the grass? ....If we didn't know heartache then we didn't know love. So my challenge today is to take a negative in our lives and remember a positive that counter acts those grumpy feelings......I am anxious to hear all of our positive thoughts and beautiful memories !!! Hope you are smiling not only with your faces but your hearts too !!!" 

I commented on that - "Great post Angie, I needed to be reminded of that today. Thanks!"  And then I felt that -5 degree cold against my face as I passed my wind chimes wailing in the wind, saying Good Morning Mom, Good Morning Dad, got into my car, drove to the mailbox to mail something, realizing that my window was now frozen down and wouldn't roll up.... Yep Ang, I got a little more than my share that morning of the cold against my face.  I smile as I will remember that morning when Spring arrives and I promise to appreciate all the warmth and beauty it brings with it.  

As we all endure the final weeks of this winter, I will do my best to stay as positive as possible, I hope all that have to or choose to be out in it do so safely and if you enjoy this weather enjoy it a little extra to make up for those like me that are only riding it out in hopes of being around to enjoy Spring and Summer.  

Smile, and make wonderful memories today. Some day it will be our turn to leave this world and move on.  May the wind move the wind chimes in your life that refresh the wonderful memories you have of those that are waiting for our arrival in the afterlife.  

Day 27 - Winter

Day 27 - As I drove around looking and thinking about today's picture I drove by Bliss Park in Effingham.  This park has been around for a long time.  For awhile it seemed somewhat in disrepair and wasn't really a place of beauty.  The city or park district has done a lot of work on this park and now it has been improved and is really a nice area.  I immediately noticed the  bright yellow  slow, children playing sign against all the white snow.  Obviously there aren't many children playing in the sub zero weather we have been experiencing, but I am sure it won't be long and the park will again be filled with life and laughter.

A couple of things come to mind when I looked at this scene.  I notice the tables that will be filled with friends getting together over lunch in the near future.  I see the snow covering everything, knowing it is necessary so that the beautiful flowers can go through the process they need to be able to bloom in the spring, and I notice the sign.  The sign not only reminds us to drive slow as a precaution.  Today I also feel it is yet another reminder to slow down and notice the children, notice the life they bring, notice and enjoy the laughter in them.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in the bills that need to be paid, the sadness of losing a loved one, or the depression of another cold and blustery day.  When I think of my three kids, who are now all adults, I remember so many times when they were young and having fun with one another and I was stressed about this or that and yelled at them to calm down because I wasn't in the mood for all the noise.  Now I look back and realize they were only making memories among themselves.  Now when our family gets together, there is nothing I enjoy more than seeing all three of my kids together, laughing, joking with one another, even if it is in some way making fun of me for something I have said or done.  The sound of the three of them laughing together and the sight of all of them with smiles on their faces is priceless. When I see my youngest grandson smiling at one of his older brothers it is more valuable than any painting in a museum.

When my mom passed, the night before her funeral my brother, his family, our dad and my family all were welcomed into my husband's brother's home.  He lives much closer to where Mom lived than we did and he has a wonderful home that he and his wife open up to company all the time. After the visitation we all came back to their home to visit and remember good times with Mom.  It was great having Dad there with us and drank a few beverages and we laughed and we cried, but I will never forget the bonding time it was for us.  I know many will find it inappropriate that we celebrated the night before Mom's funeral, but we were by no means celebrating her loss, we were celebrating her life and all the memories that meant so much to us.  I remember clearly Dad hugged me that night and said to me, "You damn sure better celebrate me like this someday when I am gone as well"

When we said goodbye to Dad for the last time almost a month ago, that night in his hospital room after his stroke memories were easy to come by.  My dad made his mark on this world in a lot of ways.  He loved life, he lived life and he was who he was.  One of the evenings after my kids arrived in town we honored Dad's wishes.  Again, I know it may not be in some's eyes appropriate to stay up way too late, drink way too many beverages, laugh too loud and shed our tears between laughing at a memory that came up, but it is what we do, and it is what Dad told me I "damn sure better do" for him.  He was there to witness Mom's celebration and I know he was there in spirit with us when we celebrated his.  I am telling my kids now - when I pass, I expect the best pre-funeral party ever.  I expect to be hearing their laughter and seeing their smiles.

I know - what does that have to do with winter?  As we weather this cold winter, like the sign says, slow down and enjoy the children - grasp any joy that you can get during this season.  Seasons aren't always weather related.  If you are in an unpleasant season in your life now, it is especially important to notice the little things, as those are what will help you hang on until a better season arrives.

If you know someone who is in a season of their life that isn't good, do what you can to make them laugh and help them hold on until their spring or summer arrives.  If you are in a season like this, reach out and let others help plant the memories that will bloom into the flowers of your life.  Friends and family are important, don't block them out when you need them most.  Try to remember what you love about those you love and then take the time to enjoy it.  Life is short, even the winters go fast so make it a priority to find something to enjoy, even if it isn't your favorite season.

Day 26 - Beliefs

 

Day 26 - Today's picture is one I took as Todd and I left his work.  I always love a beautiful sky, it doesn't matter whether it is due to the morning sunrise or an evening sunset.  This particular one is a sunset.  As we were driving out I paused to take a picture of the cross in the skyline. I felt the picture was just too good to pass on and I thought it was fitting with Easter season beginning this week.

One of the wonderful things about living in the United States is that we are allowed to believe what we want to believe and the sacrifices made by others allowing us this right is something that should never be taken for granted.

I married into a primarily Catholic family.  Most of the family continues to practice Catholicism as my husband and I do.  Are we the best Catholics, no, there is plenty of room for improvement in that part of our lives.

Growing up I was always nervous when approached about religion of any kind.  We somewhat belonged to a small Christian Church, but really only went on certain holidays and joined others and went to Vacation Bible School in the summer.  We always believed in God and Heaven but didn't quite understand much more than that.

After I met Todd I joined the Catholic Church and studied the beliefs with Fr. Vidas Dutchinsky.  I learned a lot, but still have so much to learn.  I feel it is something that is a lifelong process.

I have family members that have and are joining the Lutheran Church.  I have many friends that are Lutheran as well.  I am happy with each of their choices.  As I said I have friends and family with many different beliefs, all of which I totally respect.  Some don't believe in religion at all.  I am okay with that as well.  In my opinion, a person's religious beliefs do not change the person they are.  If a person is good to me and to others I feel they have the right to believe and live the way they wish.  I will always pray for everyone I know, hoping that they will be welcomed into Heaven, even if right now they may not believe in it at all.

After losing Mom and now with the recent loss of Dad, I really need to believe in Heaven.  I really need to have that to hang on to.  I do believe that there is a Heaven where we will all be reunited after our time here is finished.  This belief makes losing those we love more bearable.

As we begin Lent, I pray that everyone finds peace within themselves and I am always humbled when remembering that Jesus died so that our sins can be forgiven.  When picturing the story in my head, it is so hard to imagine the sacrifices made so that we will have the chance to join our loved ones in Heaven.

Since losing Dad this past month I seem to notice more symbols. I felt a need to photograph the cross in the beautiful sunset because it seemed like a sign that Dad is being welcomed into Heaven, that we will be together again someday.

Day 25 - Grandchildren

Day 25 - I am getting behind on my blogging.  I have been playing with my camera a lot but due to my lack of consistent  internet service at home, (thank you Frontier) I am really behind on posting.
Over the weekend I was lucky enough to get to spend the day with three of my favorite kids, my grandsons. These three are all the sons of my oldest daughter and as of now, they are the only three grandchildren we have. Today's pictures are of  each of them.

First is Kaden.  He was our first grandson and is a boy that I am very proud of.  He is growing into a young man that is caring and is normally the first to volunteer to help.  Kaden has a love of sports, all of them.  He is pretty athletic, but also is the first to get discouraged if he doesn't play well.  Kaden reminds me a lot of his mom.  He has a soft heart and doesn't like to fail.  As he grows I hope he learns to take those chances and deal with setbacks because he has a lot of talent and is a very smart boy.  He is soft spoken and doesn't like to cause or be in the middle of any drama.  He tries to get along with the others and usually gives in before fighting about much.  I can't wait to see what the world holds for him because he will do well, he knows how to deal with people.   Kaden, like the normal first born is usually responsible and willing to make the sacrifices to make others happy.  His teachers usually have good things to say about him because he is mannerly and gets along great with the others in school.  I think he will fit in well no matter where he goes in life because he has a personality that others enjoy being around.


 Second picture is of Kale.  Kale is the middle child.  He is referred to a lot as the one that almost caused them to only have two...  yep he is a little ornery, as in stubborn.  He is the child that once you have told him no more he will do whatever it is at least once more.... just because.  He has such a fun personality, at least when you are Grandma.  He likes to test every limit, push every issue to the extreme and try everything.... at least just once.  Kale is turning four this month and loves Space Jam.  He loves all sports, at least if they involve using a ball of some sort.  This may somewhat be because he adores his older brother, Kaden, who is also a sports nut, I see such big things in Kale's future.  I can easily see him accomplishing so much more than expected because he will push himself as hard as he pushes his parents now.  I think the sky is the limit for this kid because I vision him being able to get by with a little extra because he has the smile and look in his eyes that make you forget whatever it was that you were supposed to be mad at him about.  He is full of energy and very, very independent.  He is going to try to accomplish something long before he will ever ask for assistance.  Some refer to his type as strong willed.  I see the inner strength in him that is going to take him far.

Then we have the baby, Keaton.  He isn't old enough yet to really know much about his personality just yet.  We are enjoying the baby stages with him and watching him develop into the person he will become.  He is pleasant, a pretty good sleeper and pretty easy going.  He is beginning to crawl and can pretty much get anywhere he pleases now.  It won't be long and he will be walking and really getting around the house.  He brings so much joy with his smiles and giggles.

Each of the three grandsons are so different.  I always find it interesting to see people grow up in the same household, raised in the same manner and come out completely different.  That is one of life's mysteries that makes it interesting.  My older brother and I have a few similarities.  I believe we are both hard workers, honest people, and open minded.  He is the one that is of few words.  He is such a wonderful person, he has some great friends, and I believe his friendship is treasured by those close to him.  He can fix almost anything and is the first one to jump in to offer to help.  I think both of us got a little of both of our parents traits.  Mom didn't say a lot, if she was hurting or angry, she pretty much just dealt with it and didn't express it much,  Dad was a little more outgoing, didn't mind throwing himself out there and didn't really seem to care if you liked him or not - he was who he was.  They both had so many dear friends who valued who they were and embraced them.  Maybe sometimes I have too much of my dad in me.  My husband, kids and I are who we are, sometimes that is a little more than what others like.  We are outspoken, usually saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and normally we are louder than we should be and often times laugh at inappropriate things.  My dad was like this.  If he was mad at you for something, you pretty much knew it, but on the other hand when he loved you he also expressed it.

As I look at my three grandsons, I enjoy seeing little bits of all of their older family members in them.  When I see them I always count them as some of my blessings.  They are a big part of my life and I can't imagine not having them around to enjoy.  I try to see them and spend time with them as often as I can but it isn't as often as I would like.

If you are blessed with grandchildren, enjoy them.  They grow up so fast and in a short time they will be busy with their own lives.  Just the other day when I asked Kale how much Grandma loved him, to which his response is supposed to be Whole Bunches, and his response was "I'm too big for that Grandma."  Give them hugs when they allow and enjoy the fruits of raising your own kids right by watching them do the same with your grandchildren.  Embrace each child in your life for who they are.  Each will have their own personality, allow them that and enjoy that about them.  Most of all show them direction and always show them love.

Day 24 - The Tunnels

Day - 24 - Today on my lunch hour I decided to take a drive out to a place familiar to my high school days.  The Tunnels.  This reference will mean something to those of us that graduated in the 70's and 80's.  This is where, as teenagers that thought we knew it all, would go to hang out with friends, party, paint our own style of artwork on the walls and in general have harmless fun.

It was no wonder that almost every party there got busted by the police because it was easy to see that there was no good going on from the interstate above.  We still seemed to meet at the tunnels, at the Kazbar, and at all the places that the local officers would be checking.  Yes, we were so smart back then.

Most of the time before we headed to these places we had spent a good portion of the night dragging main.  In downtown Effingham when we were in school most of the streets were not one-way streets, this allowed for a nice cruise route.  We would meet somewhere and cram as many people into each vehicle as we could, crank up the tunes on the eight track player (Usually with a match book stuck under the 8-track tape so it would work) and roll the windows down as your circled the two or three main blocks repeatedly .

Back then the price of gas was way less than it is now and this was the way to meet people from other schools and other towns.  The guys would make sure their cars looked good and sounded even better.  Some of us had our old beaters, but as long as you had a car that would survive stop and go traffic all night long you were in.  As your car circled the route you would pass the same cars over and over, most of the time two cars would be stopped side by side going opposite directions.  This gave the occupants a chance to converse without stepping too far out of their comfort zone.

Thinking about it now, and remembering when the city of Effingham decided to make all the streets up town one-way so they could stop what some of the merchants and older citizens referred to as a nuisance it kind of makes me sad.  I realize it is a different time, now with social media and cell phones there isn't a need for the kids to meet in this manner, but I know I made some pretty good friends that I probably would never have met had it not been for "dragging main" long enough to find out when and where everyone was meeting later at the tunnels or some other spot.

As I reminisce, I can almost hear Bob Seger, AC/DC, Styx,  Aerosmith, Boston, Rush, and many others that we listened to play in my head.  It was a much simpler time, yeah I know I sound old, and I am getting there, but I wish my kids and grandkids could have the opportunity to experience just a night or two of something that gives me so many memories that I hold dear.

I don't believe in living in the past, or worrying too much about the future because things that have happened can't be changed and things in the future are gonna happen.  Don't get me wrong - we have to plan, but a person can make themselves sick worrying about bad things that may never even happen.  Take time to live in today.  If you have good memories of yesterdays enjoy them and share them if you can.  Take a few minutes every now and then and download and play one of your favorite songs from the past, shut your eyes and remember what it was like to be carefree and living the dream.  

Make memories and enjoy every moment that you can!

Day 23 - Expressions

Day 23 - A rose.  A simple rose.  This flower is used for a lot of things.  Different color roses are supposed to represent different emotions.  Red, like the one above, shows love or romance.  Yellow is sometimes sent in friendship, for good health or joy.  White is used in marriage, sometimes to show spirituality.  Orange can represent enthusiasm or passion. Pink many times represents love, gratitude or appreciation.

Cut flowers are nice and I know a lot of women love to receive them.  I guess, like many other aspects of my life, I am not the normal person.  I would much rather receive something that I can replant and it can continue to bloom in the future rather than fade away in a short time.  I know that cut flowers are expensive and they are nice, it is just that their beauty fades so quickly.  Don't get me wrong, these flowers are great, they were sent with the most sincerest intentions and my daughter loved receiving them.

There are so many ways to express our feelings, sometimes with flowers or gifts, sometimes with words or even just a smile or hug.  I know I was raised by a mom that for many years didn't really seem to know how to express her love.  She loved us, that we knew, but a hug seemed hard to give when we were growing up.  My dad was the one that gave the hugs.  I think is also was because he didn't see us all the time.  My mom's mother wasn't a real emotional type of a person either.  As Mom became a grandmother she became much more of a hugger and had no trouble showing her love to the kids and everyone in general.  It was as if the grand kids melted the layer around her heart that didn't allow her to show emotion.  I also think that many in that generation were raised to be colder and harder, to suck it up and not let your feelings show.

Along with these flowers, my daughter's boyfriend also made a very nice post on her facebook page on the anniversary of their first date.  He caught a lot of grief about it, but I found it refreshing.  I am glad she has a man in her life that isn't afraid to let her know how much he cares, that he is proud enough of her and their relationship to let others know it as well.  Most of the ones who made fun of him for these expressions are men.  I could be wrong, but I think that most women would love if the man in their life would express their feelings more.  I think it is an endearing trait that could make the world much better.

As you deal with those you love, if the opportunity presents itself, express your feelings.  Show those you love that you really do love them.  If you think you will have plenty of time to do this, you may not.  None of us are promised tomorrow, so live with no regrets because the opportunity may never present itself again.

Day 22 - Standing Strong

Day 22 - Today's picture is of an oak tree that was planted by my mom about seventeen years ago.  It is in front of our home and I love this tree.  An oak tree holds onto it's leaves long after the leaves have died.  Mom always told me that the oak tree is the best predictor of when winter is finally over because it will lose the leaves then and only then.  

This oak tree was planted as a seedling, only standing about five foot tall at the time.  Mom lectured Todd and I on the do's and don'ts of taking care of it.  Todd always gave her a hard time about trimming the bottom branches so he could mow under this tree and she would always tell him that it wasn't old enough to do that.  Finally a couple of years after mom passed Todd decided to trim the bottom branches off of the tree, I think Mom would be pleased.  

The wood of an oak tree is solid and strong.  As I look at this oak tree, I see in it what I usually try to be.  In the past weeks I have stayed somewhat strong throughout the loss of my dad.  When we were told that there was nothing that could be done to save him and that he would be gone in a short time my strength swayed, like this tree on a windy day.  I pulled it together so that I could try to be as supportive as possible to others around me.  I found funny stories and memories of Dad important as a way of dealing with it all, because that is how I deal.  I cling to my memories and any memento of my dad that I can get my hands on, kind of like the oak hangs onto its leaves.  I know I had to say goodbye for now, like the leaves in the spring, but I also know that like this tree, I will see new growth as life moves on.  I will always miss my dad, and my mom who has been gone for five and a half years now, but I also know that my family needs me to be strong so we can build more memories together for them to someday hold on to.  

I realized a few things this weekend, when I finally took some time to be alone with my thoughts and grief.  I realized that in the midst of trying to be strong I really wasn't there for my kids, I didn't really grieve in front of them so I don't think they felt that they were able to grieve in front of me, I regret that.  When I called them to let them know how bad things were, it was a pretty quick, it is what it is type of call.  I didn't want to show any more emotion than I had to so I kept it short and to the point, I regret that, they deserved more.  At Dad's funeral when my grandson was crying, I was afraid to break so I didn't hug him like I should have, I regret that, I should have been there for him.  I wanted to say a few words at Dad's funeral, so I did.  I told the others that I had to speak first, knowing that if I didn't I wouldn't be able to make it through without breaking down.  I realize now that it wasn't fair to the others to have to go after me, they had to deal with what I wasn't ready to deal with.  I hope that others around me somehow know how much I care and how much I appreciate them because, except for my written words, it is hard for me to express these feelings. 

As I look at that mighty oak, I realize that it is strong, but it is still susceptible to disease, to damage from really strong winds or insects, I also realize that although on the outside I am strong, I have a lot of room to work on that on the inside, because in so many ways I am anything but strong.  I have my faith that my parents are in a better place.  I have to believe that we will again be joined together, without this faith there would be no strength, I would have snapped like a twig.   

In the future, it is my goal to never take those around me for granted.  Also I am going to try more to show some emotion from time to time, not bury it like I have a lot of things in my past.  I want to try to be more supportive of those around me, even when it means showing less strength and more emotion.  Love those around you, and appreciate them.  Always remember that we are all battling something, so many times it is something that no one else is even aware of.  

Day 21 - Recognition

Day 21 - Recognition - Today's picture is of a relative but also a good friend of ours and his mother.  Dennis Blievernicht was one of the former athletic standouts of Dieterich High School that were inducted into the initial class of their hall of fame.  I received a message from his wife that he was going to be honored at the Friday night game and immediately knew that we would be attending.  I mentioned it to Todd and he agreed.  In our normal state we were running a little late to get to the gym but I did get there to see the first inductees take the gym floor.  There were a few teams that were inducted and then the individuals were brought out.  Dennis was honored with about twelve others for their accomplishments while wearing Moving Maroon uniforms.

It was great to see Dennis and the others be honored for their accomplishments, but what was even more moving was to see the pride on his mom's face.  She, rightfully so, was very proud of the man we lovingly refer to as Bully.  Dennis's mom, Irene, is a sweet hard working person who always has a smile and a warm greeting when I see her.  I had the honor of working with her in the fast food industry years ago and always enjoyed a shift that she was on.  She had a wonderful sense of humor and always worked hard, with a smile on her face.

Also at the gym were Dennis's wife, Kathleen, all three of their kids their two grandkids, a couple of his brother-in-laws and some if not all of his siblings, as well as others.  I didn't get to see everyone that were there for him, so I am sure I have missed a few.

I am very happy for Bully, for being recognized for his accomplishments of the past, but most of all I am so happy for him that he is blessed with such a supportive family.  His love of his family and his tremendous faith are two things that are much more impressive than the accomplishments that were being recognized Friday night.  This man is many times a man of few words, always a smile and a laugh and always takes time to honor God and his family.  He and Kathleen commonly refer to one another as boyfriend and girlfriend and I don't know another couple that seem any more in love than these two.

In deciding on this picture, I wanted to show a wonderful lady that raised an awesome son.  I hope as my kids continue to grow that others will value their friendship as I value this and the many friendships I am lucky enough to have.

If you have the opportunity to connect with a friend, even one that you have lost touch with, take the opportunity, it might be the one thing that friend needs.  Have a wonderful week, spread love and cheer any chance you get.

Day 20 - Goodbyes

Day 20 - The picture above isn't one I took. It was taken and sent to me by a close friend and family member.  I didn't get to see this picture from this perspective, I was at the other side of the truck as the friends and brothers of my father hoisted his casket on top of the fire truck to give him his ceremonial last ride.  The honor given to my dad by his fellow firefighters during his last hours on this earth and during his funeral was wonderful.  As we stood next to his casket during the visitation having the honor guard there was very touching.  The men who were willing to stand next to Dad as we said our goodbyes were wonderful.  At the funeral they honored him by gathering at his casket and saluting him, and a few spoke about him at the funeral.  After the funeral they gave him his last ride, which consisted of putting his casket on top of the firetruck and driving past his house where they sounded the sirens and horns and then going on to the firehouse and dispatching him out for the final time.  The final statement was  "Job well done faithful servant - we will take it from here"

The lifelong bonds that were formed between Dad and his fellow firefighters is something that I could never have understood before this past week.  Stories filled with laughter and respect for a man that I always knew was proud to be a fireman, but didn't quite understand the meaning of it all before.
As we said goodbye during the funeral - a couple of his dear friends spoke of him, the Danville Fire Chaplin gave a wonderful service, My daughter Jill, my nieces Morgan and Hadleigh gave eulogies and my Godson and Dad's namesake Rex closed with The Fireman's Prayer.  I gave a eulogy that I have printed below.  There are not enough words to express what my dad meant to me and how much I loved and will miss him, but I tried to sum it up in a few words.  At the funeral I made them let me speak first, not because I thought my words were more important than anyone else's, but because I knew if I were going to be able to make it through without breaking down I would have to go before the others spoke.

As I end this day's post I say to my dad - Job well done faithful father - we will take it from here.

*******************************************************************************
Who was Rex Goodwin? To some he was a great friend, to others he was that guy that always told the jokes, sometimes inappropriate ones. He was a Veteran, a fireman, a cowboy, a truck driver, an ambulance driver, a bull rider, a son, a husband, a grandfather, a great grandfather, an uncle, I could go on and on, but to me the most important was that he was an awesome Dad.

Growing up, we only got to see him mostly on holidays and through the summer months.  Yeah, this meant he missed some moments in our lives, but it also meant that we always got fun dad.  He laughed when we did things that maybe we shouldn't, he let us drive way before we were old enough, we never had a bedtime when he was in charge, it was usually fun and games when he was around.  He never spanked us and only raised his voice on very few occasions.  He was never the disciplinarian, that was Mom and Kathy's job. When we were younger and dad was working the rodeo through the summer, I felt big and bad because I was Rex's kid, and that held some clout.

As I grew up I could always count on him to cheer me up, and to have my back. I knew he would be there for the important times in my life if there was any way he could. I knew I could count on him for a joke, a smile and a hug.

As we say goodbye for the final time today I know he is still with each of us in our hearts and we all have those special memories. Some I have been lucky enough to hear, and others I hope to hear in the future.  So when you think of Rex, do so with a smile because he wouldn't want it any other way.

*******************************************************************************

Death is a part of life.  We can only hope that our time in this world we touch a lot of lives, make the world a better place and spend as much quality time with those we love as we can.  I believe our lives here are a means to prepare us for the better things yet to come.  I have to believe that those we love and have passed on will be there when we pass.  We all grieve differently, I was told by my doctor when my mom passed, "Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve or how long to grieve".  He let me know that it is different for everyone.  If you are going through anything difficult in your life.  Lean on your friends and family, because I have found that I am blessed with some of the best ones around and I can't thank them enough for all their loving support!

Day 19 - Generations

Day 19 - Today's picture is called generations.  It is a combination of pictures I took today and one that was taken a long time ago. As I said goodbye to a man that I have loved my entire life and will continue to miss every day for the rest of it I also got sentimental about the house that he was raised in and has meant a lot to all of us over the years.

The black and white is of my dad when he was a boy sitting on the front steps of his home that he shared with his mother.  After they moved to Salem for quite a few years Grandma Francie moved back and eventually reacquired the house and lived there until the day she died peacefully inside of it.  My brother and my families stayed here this past week while we were in town for my dad's funeral.  This house has so many memories for me.  As a child I spent a lot of time here with Grandma, and then when her health declined my dad and step-mother moved in with her so much of my time with them was spent in this house.

I had found the picture of Dad on the steps when I was looking through pictures for a book I made for his 80th birthday.  I love that picture because it is great to see Dad as a young boy.  He and Grandma were very close because he was raised as an only child.  He would have had a sister, but she died within a few months of her birth, on Christmas Day.   I know Grandma always had a new story about Dad when I spent time with her, she loved him dearly as did I.

Today I decided that my picture of the day would be a picture of the house, and I took a few.  Then I decided I wanted a few pictures of some of my dad's decedents sitting on those same steps.  I first took a picture of Dad's namesake, Rex.  He is my Godchild and very dear to me.  After a couple of shots with Rex I added my three kids, who are my world.  I love the picture of four of his grand kids sitting on the exact steps that he sat on so long ago.  This isn't all of Dad's grand kids, I wish I could have gotten them all there but it wasn't possible.   I then took a picture of two of my three grandsons.  The weather wasn't the best so we didn't bring out my youngest that is only 10 months old.  These three boys are so very special and I love them so much.

After a loved one passes, I think it is normal to be nostalgic about a lot of things.  At least I hope it is somewhat normal, because since dad passed this week, I notice some things that maybe would have not even gotten a second glance before.  Tonight's Super Bowl commercials have included quite a few that were based on fathers, another showed a bull rider.  Each of them brought Dad to my mind. I made it through his funeral, even giving a small eulogy, and witnessing one of the best displays of honor I have ever seen beginning with the legion giving him the 21 gun salute and taps while his casket was loaded onto a Danville Firetruck.  He was then taken for his last ride which took him past his house and then to the fire station where he was dispatched for the last time then they retired his number, 12.  Amazing is the word I used over and over because I was so very impressed with all of those that made it happen.

Family is so important.  As I have one less here on earth after this past week, I know that each person that touches my life is important.  I cherish every laugh, every smile, and every moment I have left.  I hope to someday be reunited with Dad, Mom and so many more in Heaven, but for the rest of my time here I hope to never take a moment for granted because none of us know how many moments we have left.