I think these two make such a great couple, and I think that the fact that they knew one another as friends for so long only makes things even better. I see them together and they have a lot in common, but one of the best things I see is that they are themselves in front of one another. They have seen one another at their best and at their worst and still find one another attractive.
Marriage and relationships are tough, my kids have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. As I have said many times our family is who we are - we don't pretend to be something that we aren't. My kids have seen a few times throughout their lives that weren't the best, but they have also been a part of so many happy memories. They know that we are in this for the long haul and that Todd and I have one another's backs and will be there for one another through the bad times as well as the good ones. I have always told my kids that marriage isn't easy and it isn't something to go into lightly. It should be something that you go into only when you are ready to sacrifice and put another's needs in front of your own.
I have also told my kids that you can't expect another person to be responsible for your own happiness. If you can't be happy with yourself, you will never find happiness in a relationship. I am a firm believer that each person in the relationship should have their own hobbies and friends as well as things and people you have in common. There have been many times that Todd and I do things together, but there are also times that we enjoy doing our own things. Todd is a bird hunter and that is something that doesn't appeal to me. I am glad he enjoys it and I don't mind cooking the birds he brings home, but to get up on a sub zero morning to go out and hunt them doesn't sound fun to me. I, on the other hand enjoy a houseboat trip with some of Todd's siblings and a friend of mine because he has no desire to join us. I think our marriage is good because we are both fine with that.
When someone finds the person that they plan to spend the rest of their lives with, it is a special thing. I am excited for what the future brings for this particular couple. Kevin and his family have been like family to us for a number of years. His dad and Todd were very good friends, and we think the world of his mom. I have always felt like the Koester family is just an extension of our own, now as we plan the upcoming wedding they will officially be a part of our family soon.
If you have found the person in your life that makes you smile, that is there to support you when you need it and enjoys celebrating the good times with you as well, take care of the relationship. If you are dating someone that doesn't do this for you, before you commit to the rest of your life make sure that you will be as happy waking up with that person 40 years from now as you when you marry. Make sure that person supports who you are and who you want to be so they will be happy to ride along in the game of life. Make sure that you aren't attracted to just the way they look but also who they really are inside. If you look at that person and you feel that they are okay for now, but not what you see yourself with for the long haul don't continue in the relationship because it isn't fair for you or for them.
I believe that the things that irritate you a little when you are dating have the potential to drive you crazy when you are married. Sometimes those things that you find adorable when you are dating become major pet peeves when you are together every day. It is important to marry a person that you find beautiful on the inside, because if you are only attracted to the outside appearance you will be so disappointed when those looks fade.
Most days I feel so very lucky to have found Todd. Some days I am sure he wonders what the hell he was thinking when he married me, but I can assure you that as we grow old together we both know that each of us are better people and we are better off because we have one another. I can't imagine the past 30+ years of life without Todd by my side. I thank God every day for my family and all the happiness they bring. I enjoy each memory more that they may ever understand.
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