Day 40 - Dads

Day 40 - I guess I am cheating on this picture, of course I didn't take it because I am in it.  It was taken by Larry Banbury of Montage Photography on July 4, 1987, he took all of our wedding pictures.  I decided to post this picture today because it includes two important people that aren't with us physically anymore.  Our fathers are a big part of who Todd and I are.  I only knew Ralph for about five years, but I see a lot of his qualities in Todd.  He could talk to anyone, he didn't mind being the life of the party and he was a man that when he knew something was the right thing he stood by it.  My dad taught me to laugh hard, love harder and live life to the fullest.  I miss these two guys a lot.  The world and my life are much better because they were a part of it.  I am happy that I have a good mix of my mom and my dad and Todd can say the same about himself.

I have some good friends that have parents that are in poor health.  I feel for them because in a lot of ways they have also lost their parents.  Sometimes a person that is still here physically can be lost because mentally they are not themselves.  I have said so many times that although I miss both my parents more than I could ever have imagined, I also feel lucky because I didn't have to experience watching them suffer.  Todd's dad, Ralph, passed in his sleep with no suffering.   I know that when a person passes this way there is a lot of unanswered questions, no chances of hearing their final thoughts or hearing them tell you that they love you, but I also know that my memories of all of them are good.   They died knowing that they were loved and I know that they cared about those that loved them.

The picture above was one that both Dads wanted taken after our wedding.  They didn't know one another very well here on earth, they didn't get many opportunities to hang out, but I hope they are hitting it off in Heaven.

If you still have your parents here with you be thankful and show them all the love you can.  If you haven't talked to your parent(s) for a while, please call, or even better go and visit.  Be thankful for what you do have.  I also realize that there are many people who would love to have a relationship with their parent or parents but there are circumstances out of their control.  I feel for those that didn't have the chance to love or be loved, because everyone deserves to feel important.  If you can relate, please do what you can to stop the circle of abuse if you can.   If your parents didn't know how to express love to you, or if you haven't felt like you could do anything to please them I hope that some day you will find that although they didn't show it, they did love you and the way you were treated isn't because of anything you did, it is possibly because they just didn't know any better, maybe they were treated the same and just didn't know how to love and be loved.  These people are the ones that I feel the most pity for.  I can't imagine not being able to let my kids know that I am so very proud of them, that I love them more than life itself.

If you don't have kids of your own, you can still share love with those around you.  I have some very dear friends and family that don't have children.  I know they probably get tired of my mindless rambling about my kids and grand kids. I hope they know that if they weren't so important in my life I wouldn't share these details with them.  I have some dear friends that are more like sisters to me because they have been there for me through so much and I feel like I have the opportunity to share parts of their life like a part of a family would.  These friendships are such an important part of my life.

I miss my parents, I know I have said that many times and will probably say it many more times in the future.  My challenge today is that no matter who it is in your life, a parent, a sibling, a cousin, aunt, uncle or just a friend that means a lot to you, say a prayer for them, touch base with them if you have the opportunity to let them know that they are important to you and remember we are all fighting our own battles.  Some of us are struggling and others are winning the battle at the moment, but everyone can use a smile and a kind word.

Have a great week!